Thursday, September 21, 2006

How Madonna Ruined My Night

I'm telling you, that Madonna can ruin a perfectly good evening. I had a dream last night where I was hanging out with a bunch of people, friends and such, and Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and their baby stop by. In the dream, Tom and I are old pals. And as I give him a hug hello and coo over the baby, I'm thinking, "You know, I've known Tom a long time. So he's gotten a little kooky acting. He's still my friend." And we go on to have a lovely evening reminiscing and catching up.

Then the whole group of us decide to go out for dinner. It's Thanksgiving and dark out and rainy. We decide to go to Shogun, this sushi/hibatchi grill that's not to far away. Only in the dream it's a totally different place. It's supposed to be open, but it looks closed. Fortunately, we're in good with the owners and they insist we come in--all 20 or so of us. So we all start piling out of our cars, and who pulls up in some crappy old green beater of a car but Madonna (and, I think, Lindsay Lohann). She not only is uninvited but also pulls right up to the door and PARKS her car in front of it sideways! And I'm thinking, "What a cow!" Then I'm all, "Madonna, what are you doing? You can't park there. It's raining, some of us are pregnant and it's totaly illegal!" She just gives me this "I don't care, you peon" look and walks inside. And then I'm all, "Who invited Madonna anyway?" No one fesses up.

Aside from the cow, it's a lovely time. Great food. I remember picturing lots of red and black lacquer in the decor. The real Shogun is all blond wood and white. Totally different.

And now for something completely different ...

Baby update:

We are officially 20 days until d-day. Less than three weeks, friends! Holy cow! (and I don't mean Madonna) She's dropped a little but not a lot yet. Bill and I are still getting the house ready. The nursery is still crazy with stuff. After three showers, it's a bit full. I'm not complaining, though! We have just about everything we need or want for the upcoming arrival. I'm currently on the prowl for nursing undergarments and shirts that a) fit and b) don't cost an arm and leg. Apparently the nursing garment industry thinks that the only women who get pregnant are between a size 6 and 10. If you're a curvy gal like me or little and tiny, you're screwed.

One thing I didn't realize until I was a million months pregnant was that because all your internal organs get pushed up, it expands your ribs. I'm broad-chested anyway, and now my bra extenders need bra extenders. It is so lame. And if I'm lucky enough to find a bra that fits around my ever-expanding chest, it is assumed that my cup size is equally enormous. Not the case. Well, not yet anyway. If I could fill in a DDDD size cup, I doubt I could walk upright.

I went shopping at a place called Vintage Baby yesterday. It's a consignment store. There is one close to my work and one close to my home. I found a nursing top, which is in my size and I hope fits. It's really hard to tell if something will fit you post-baby when you have said baby still bulging in your belly. So for $6.99, I thought what the heck. I can always consign it back. They carry baby and kids clothes and stuff as well as maternity and every once in a while nursing clothes. Of course I also saw the cutest Christmas dress in red velvetine that should fit the baby for the holidays. I couldn't resist. I'm telling you, baby clothes are made by evil people passing as innocents. They make all these adorable outfits that a baby will maybe be able to wear two times then grow out of. And most are generally not that pricey (some are, though), so you think it's fine. But it's not. And suddenly you have a closet FILLED with tiny adorable outfits! They multiply like rabbits on speed! And if you're a first-time parent, you get twice as suckered in. And you don't know exactly what sizes to buy. Buy them big, but how big? I'm telling you, it's a huge plot. And my husband and I keep falling for it. Bill bought the baby two Halloween caps (little ghosties), a pair of boo socks and a boo onesie in less than an hour at two different stores. That's on top of the Halloween cap I bought the day before that looks like a witch hat. Weeks before, we couldn't resist a "Baby's first boo" onesie and "I love my mummy" bib. And during shower number two we got another Halloween onesie and bib from a friend who knows how much I love Halloween. It's a coup.

In cemetery-related news:

Epitaphs Magazine is plugging along. I'm editing right now and starting layout stuff. The plan is to get it to designer Kristie within a week.

One thing I need to do is pack my camera along with me wherever I go. I keep seeing cool cemeteries I haven't been to but have no camera to capture the moments. What kind of taphophile am I anyway?

In other news:

I'm getting back into the jewelry-making swing. Actually I'm currently focusing on making beaded bookmarks (or book thongs like you see in mall bookstores). If you are in the market, And the Bead Goes On (my friend Tracey's super-cool business), sells them for $3 each (instead of $6.95 everywhere else!!!). Great for Christmas and birthdays! I can hook you up! I can also hook you up with beautiful and affordable jewelry if you are in the market. You can see examples of what we make in issue #3 of Epitaphs Magazine (ad is on the inside back cover).

I'm shamelessly promoting this stuff because a) it's great stuff and b) because it's how I'm earning baby savings. I'm doing what I can to save up money for when my paid maternity leave ends. I'd really like to be able to be off through most of December (if the baby is born on time or late). If she's early, I want to be able to have at least a week's salary to get me paid through the Thanksgiving break without having to come back. It's all up to baby when I get off. That's the great unknown, not knowing exactly how to plan for this. I'm working all the way up until I have her.

Well, that's the scoop. My mom is coming over to talk baby stuff and go over the house with me to see what we can get done. I still have baby brain. Words fail me when I'm talking sometimes. At least when I'm typing things move a little smoother. For a few weeks there, it was a wonder that I was able to string two sentences together. I don't know how I did the work projects I did. Perhaps I was on marketing auto pilot.

Have a great weekend, everybody! Fall is here! At least in the western Illinois region, and I'm loving it. It's my fave time of year. Love it!



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