The Celebrant Plot Thickens

I told Mom on Monday about my plans to become a celebrant and take the training in September. She thought it was really cool. Then today, the following Sunday, Bill and I went to breakfast with Mom and Dad, and Mom asks me if I want to go into business with her. She wants to take the celebrant training with me! How cool is that? So we're both going to Minneapolis in September.

If I haven't given the information on celebrancy, do check out Pam Vetter's site: www.celebrantpam.com. She's a super-cool lady and the reason I'm making this life decision. Well, at least the initial catalyst. It was the article I read about the ceremony she performed for Richard Pryor that caught my attention. She has been absolutely wonderful since I first contacted her, too. She's been willing to offer advice and answer my questions. If you are in the California area and are looking for someone to perform a ceremony for you, please contact her. She's great!

As anyone who knows me well can tell you, I'm a research junkie. Unfortunately I'm finding that there is not a whole lot of information available on celebrancy at this point. While it is big in Australia, it's still growing in the States. But I can be patient.

Plus, it's not like I don't have plenty going on right now. I'm still working on my book proposal, I just turned in my presentation proposal for the Museum of Funeral Customs symposium this fall ... and I'm now taking a painting class. Yes, you read right, a painting class. I haven't painted since junior high. Wait. I take that back. I painted a costume design in my Theatre Design class my senior year of college. We used gouche paints. But before that, the last painting I did was of a clown in orange tones with acryllics.

So this is the perk of being married to the studio art coordinator for the Figge Art Museum. Employees and their families can take classes for free. What a deal! Once I get a piece finished, I promise to post it on this blog. Then you can laugh amongst yourselves! :)

Well, it's time for me to get back to proof-checking the second issue of "Epitaphs Magazine." The fans are waiting.

-Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

But before I go ...

I have some recommendations for y'all.


Spooky movie recommendations:

- "The Grudge" starring Sarah Michelle Gellar ("Buffy"!). LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this movie! It's spooky as hell and a great homage to the original.
- "Ju-On" starring I'm not sure who. This is the movie "The Grudge" was based on. It's even scarier. And leave the subtitles on, because nothing is lamer than bad American dubbing. The story is more in-depth than the American, so watch the American version first. Then scare yourself silly with the second one. Ghost story prime awesomeness!
- "Haunted" starring Aidan Quinn. Great ghost story! A fun, old-fashioned ghost movie.


Book recommendations:

- "Grave Intent" by Deborah LeBlanc. Her writing will get under your skin. This is her second book. Give her a read! Plus, she's a total peach! A real sweetheart of a Cajun! ;-) I'm hoping she'll have a book signing up here in Moline.
- "Harry Potter and ..." by J.K. Rowling. Love them all. Love every one. I can't WAIT TO SEE "Goblet of Fire" on the IMAX screen next weekend. I'm counting down the days!


TV recommendations:
- "Lost" - What a great show! Rent the first season, though. Catch up. You'll be, well, lost if you don't.
- "House" - How can Hugh Laurie be so British when he's so arrogant American? What an interesting, intelligent show that is also kind of playful in a weird way. I love the characters and the medical mysteries.
- "CSI" - Speaking of mysteries, this one has them. It's a great show that makes me feel like I'm let in on a really smart secret. It's also probably why I think I should buy Urine Gone, which is not only seen on TV but also comes with a blacklight so you can see where exactly your cat has peed. Note: I watch the original "CSI" but not the Miami one. David Carruso is weird.
- "Boston Legal" - My new addition to my faves. I started watching it when Michael J. Fox was announced to have a four-episode arc. Not only is he wonderful, but the rest of the cast is brilliant. It's quirky enough to get me to watch a lawyer show, and William Shatner is a hoot!


That's it for today!

Minda

I finally think I know what I want to be when I grow up.

And it's a celebrant.

I just discovered this today. A celebrant is "is a person who has been trained and certified to meet the needs of families during their time of loss. They serve by providing a funeral service or tribute that is personalized to reflect the personality and lifestyle of the deceased," according to www.InsightBooks.com). They are not religiously affiliated, but provide services for all kinds of people. This is exactly want to do! Aside from writing, of course. I even looked into becoming a funeral director at one time because I wanted to help people through their grief. But I really have no desire to embalm people. I don't have a problem with the practice, but it's just not my thing. Plus, being a funeral director is a tough job--aside from prepping bodies. It's hard work with tough hours.

Anyway, check this out: "According to the American Religious Identification Survey, Americans who answer 'none' when asked to identify their religion numbered 29.4 million in 2001, more than double the 14.3 million in 1990. If unbelievers had their own state--the state of None--its population would be the second largest state: California, 34.5 million; None, 29.4 million, Texas, 21.3 million." George Will, Washington Post 5/5/05

This is fascinating stuff. How I found out about this profession is through a link one of my e-mail listmates sent out (thank you, Stephanie!). It was to a story on Richard Pryor's memorial service. Being spiritual but not religious, the Pryors did not want a religious service. Instead, they hired Pam Vetter (www.celebrantpam.com). I was immediately intrigued and had to learn more. That's when I went to the InsightBooks.com site. I'll keep you posted as I learn more.

If I get a chance tonight when the cats (three of 'em!) are quiet and not being nosey (yeah, right) and Bill is downstairs drawing, I think I'll give my podcast recording a go. We'll see!

For those of you in the Quad-City area, I highly recommend you visit Crazy Wok. It's an Asian fusion restaurant on 53rd in Davenport (a few blocks east of Brady Street--not down on the Borders end of town). It's fabulous! I got the Mango Coconut Fried Rice with cashews, raisins and tofu. Oh my gosh, is it ever good! I'm going to have my leftovers right now!

Gotta run! Delectible Asian food awaits!

Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

Movies and how people screw everything up

I just read an article on AlterNet (http://www.alternet.org/mediaculture/31379/) about how Steven Soderbergh is releasing his new movie "Bubble" in theaters, then showing it days later on HDNET, and then releasing it on DVD only days after that. Why? Because he wants to beat movie piraters at their game.

Beating movie piraters is something I'm all for. With sticks and such. Too many people work too hard to have people steal their work. And I'm not talking about the Steven Spielbergs and the Jerry Bruckheimers of the industry that have more money than the world. I'm talking about those long lists of people in the credits most people bail out on. My husband and I stay for them after every movie we see in the theater. Everyone deserves some recognition.

But back to Soderbergh's new brain scheme. It's not helping matters. Here's the deal. People are not going to movies because they can't afford them. In little Davenport, Iowa, and little Moline, Illinois, movies cost $9 for an adult ticket. A few years ago I visited a friend in Minnesota, and we saw a movie at the Mall of America, the biggest tourist-trap shopping extravaganza in the Midwest. At that time, the movies there cost the same amount at the movies in my much smaller hometown. How disgusting is that?

Why are movie ticket costs so high? Is it the evil movie theaters? Partially. But you can't totally blame them. When it costs $50 million dollars for a movie to be made (and a lower budget one, at that), someone has to pay through the nose for it for the investors to get their money back. "King Kong" didn't do nearly as well at the box office as predicted, not because no one wanted to see it. I'm betting it's because people really didn't have the spare cash. I know a bunch of my friends didn't. One of my good friends loves movies. But times are tight, and movies are now low on his priority list (Thanks, George W., for your tremendous presidenting skills).

So, are people pirating movies because they are broke? Probably some are. Others like the thrill of "getting to see something first." Or of doing something bad but not "really" bad. I know someone in his early 20s who thinks he's awesome because he can get a hold of some movies before they are even released. Why? Who cares? Why would anyone want to watch a crappy bootleg copy of a film on a computer screen or TV? Just to say they did? Whatever. Sounds like a loser who needs to get a girlfriend or boyfriend to me.

Anyway, this article made me want to vent. If people in Hollywood want to make changes that are really going to matter, don't dumb yourself down. Don't lower yourself to the lowest perceived common denomenator. It's insulting. Step up and take real action. The fact that Soderbergh only spent $1.7 million on making this film (which is still, yikes, a lot of money to a poor sot like me) is much more impressive. Keep it real, Steven. And that goes for all filmmakers.

What's Your Epitaph Say?

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Just a little fun thing sent to one of the lists I'm a member of.

I'm half-way done with the book proposal. I've also started a paper proposal for the Museum of Funeral Customs 2006 Symposium. And I'm going to send in a proposal for the Association for Gravestone Studies annual conference. Gotta get out there! There's info about these conferences at www.TheCemeteryClub.com, if anyone is interested in checking them out.

I've been going to the fitness center at the college I work for off and on for the past month or so. I went yesterday. It's pretty nice. Eliptical machines, treadmills, exercise bikes, stair-steppers, etc. And there's no charge for students or employees. I brought my workout clothes today again, but I've been feeling kind of crappy most of the day. I don't know if I ate something that didn't settle well with me or what. But I know that I don't feel up to getting on a treadmill after work, that's for sure. I think I need a nap.

Otherwise all is well in our little end of the world. I hope it is in yours.

-Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

New book on the way

It has been ages since my last post--over a month! What a slacker.

Here's what's been brewing in my cauldron while my blog has been idle. I held a book signing at Readmore Book World in Moline, Ill., on Dec. 10. There was Christmas and New Year's. I started volunteering for the Animal Aid Humane Society, which is a no-kill shelter near my house. I was on break from my day job for the holidays, which was totally awesome even if I was a little under the weather during a good part of it.

I've been working on the second issue of "Epitaphs Magazine," which is slated for a February release. Kristine, our designer, is working her magic right now.

The main thing I've been working on is the proposal for my second book. I will not be self-publishing this time. This time I am going for it and submitting it to an agent. It's been an interesting process trying to narrow down my topic for the book. At times it's been downright painful. It's tough to figure out your next step. Especially when I'm still working on promoting my first book. It's a major juggling act.

Yesterday I spoke to an advanced class of six students at Bettendorf Middle School (Bettendorf, Iowa). They have taken on the project of creating a walking tour brochure for Oakdale Memorial Park (where I co-directed the cemetery walk last September) in Davenport, Iowa. It was a lot of fun. They were so into what we were talking about that they asked their teacher if they could stay through the next class period.

This weekend I will be teaching a class on "The Ins and Outs of Self-Publishing." If I can help some other people wade their way through the process, then rock on. It can be daunting. The whole process of this book stuff can be daunting. I have enjoyed it very much and continue to, but I won't try to fool you into thinking it's easy and fun. You've got to have a lot of determination and time to get things done. I still need to do some legwork on getting a Borders signing lined up.

In other news, I'm working toward hosting a podcast for TheCemeteryClub.com. If you have any ideas about what you'd like to hear about on the podcast, let me know! I'm open to suggestions.

I plan to blog a little more often, so please stay tuned. Thanks for your continued support and happy cemetery haunting!

Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

Off to New Orleans in 3 Weeks

In just three weeks, I'll be heading to New Orleans. Honestly, I don't know what to expect. I have this image of NOLA in my mind from my previous visits, and then I have the images from the news on TV and in papers and magazines. Then I read articles and blogs online where people are saying it is so much worse than anyone can even imagine. At this point, I don't know how far into the city beyond the French Quarter I will be able to go. I'm flying in and am not getting a rental car. And I don't know if any of the city's areas are closed off at this point.

Admittedly, I am curious to see what this area looks like now. But that is not the reason I'm really going to New Orleans. I'm going to support the city and all the wonderful people I met there. I'm going to help clean up a cemetery. I'm going to meet new people and conduct interviews so that they can have their stories heard. I'm going because I feel the pull to be there. This is the next step.

My husband and I aren't millionaires, far from it. Neither one of us came from families with money. So while growing up I learned how to make a difference in ways that didn't cost a lot of money. Throughout my youth, I felt my best way of making a difference was with my writing. I wrote about important issues for school papers and also wrote a lot of things that I kept to myself or shared only with friends. While I wasn't making a difference to the world, I was making a huge difference to myself. As I grew as a writer, I was able to eventually come out of the shyness I was seemingly born with.

Eventually all my thoughts and ideas grew into Girls Make a Difference, a program I held for girls age 9-14 for five years. I kept the program free because I wanted all interested girls to be able to join. It was wonderful while it lasted, but it was year-round time consuming and was taxing on my bank account. It was time to move on. And writing was calling me.

I decided to write a book. Would it be fiction? Non-fiction? What would it be about? I tried to write a novel. It seemed good at the time, but then I lost interest in the story. It's still rattling around in my head, but I know my true calling is non-fiction. I love doing research. Always have. I love learning new things and figuring out how the new things fit in with the old things I've known. In two years, "Cemetery Walk" was born. And in the middle of that, "Epitaphs Magazine" was born.

I write for a living. I work for Palmer College of Chiropractic in the marketing and communications department. I'm a writer and editor. I edit a monthly newsletter, I write scripts for various video projects, and I do anything else that falls in the category a marketing specialist would take care of. Chiropractic plays an important role in my life. It's primary health care for me and my husband, and the results are excellent.

But while chiropractic is great and I enjoy working to promote it, it is not my calling. I know people who are supposed to be chiropractors, and they are great. I know, though, that for me there is more to my writing than newsletters and brochure copy. There's another book in me, and right now it's waiting to be found in New Orleans.

So if you are in New Orleans and want to say hi, let me know. I'll meet you at Cafe du Monde. It's open, you know!

All the best,
Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

If you want to self-publish with a POD ...

If any of you are interested in self-publishing your own book (whether fiction, non-fiction, poetry, art, photography, children's, etc.) and you are looking for a print-on-demand company, you might consider AuthorHouse. That's who I went through for my book "Cemetery Walk."

If you have any questions about the process or what the experience of working with a print-on-demand (POD) company is like, feel free to e-mail me at minda@thecemeteryclub.com. I'll be honest with you about my experience. There are definite positives and negatives to PODs, but for me at the time, it was the right way to go. If it is for you, check them out. One thing that is very cool is the ability to check your sales online. It's pretty cool.

If you do decide to go with AuthorHouse.com, please mention that I referred you. They have a referral program.

Good luck!

Minda Powers-Douglas

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

Looting and Pillaging

It has been a while since I've blogged. I have excuses, of course. I will share them with you now.

I've been working nearly 70 hours per week between my two jobs as well as planning my book launch event, etc. The book launch took place last Sunday. It was fabulous. More later.

Last night I worked at the Halloween store. It is the second day I've worked this week. While I have been used to the store getting cluttery and downright messy, nothing had prepared me for what I was going to step into Tuesday and Thursday at 5 p.m. (when my shift started). The store is quite large for a temporary business. It is located in a strip mall, and the space it occupies was once an appliance store many moons ago, I'm told. We have nearly every costume imaginable (except some obvious ones, but we only get what we get from corporate), a bunch of props, fake blood, lifesize and ridiculously large rats, fog machines, things that light up, things that talk (waaaay too much), zillions of latex masks ranging in price from $9.99 to $59.99, Halloween make-up, oodles of false eyelashes, vampire teeth, slutty costumes (also known as Legs Avenue), fart machines, dozens of children's Spider-man costumes in one size only (7-10), obscene costumes (including "Tricky Dick" the inflatable penis costume, which we apparently have sold out of), hundreds of wigs, flying bats, styrofoam tombstones, and many other items many people feel they need to have or at least pick up and put down somewhere else in the store.

I am a temporary employee. I make not a whole lot an hour. I have not complained about this because overall I have enjoyed working at the store and helping people shop for the holiday I love. In fact, I've been priding myself on my customer service, keeping the store in good order, sweeping up feathers and such with the little push-roller non-electric Hoover, etc. What a fun job, I had said to myself many a time.

Then the disillusionment began to set in. A few weeks ago I realized that one of my co-workers was really good at telling people what to do, yet not doing a damn thing except sitting on his ass and occasionally checking people out at the register. There is more to life in the Halloween store than attending the register. There is much clean-up and restocking to do. It is not a difficult job. In reality, a trained monkey could probably do it. Pick things up and put them in their appropriate sections in the appropriate spaces. We don't have to price anything, as the items come priced and ready to be put up.

We wear orange shirts. After all, it is a Halloween store, and orange is a seasonal color. It's also easy to pick us out of the crowd. Yet not all of my coworkers wear their shirts. I do not believe it is because they have a disdain for orange as much as they do not want to be recognized as staff. I wear my shirt every time I work, because we are supposed to. For me, this is not a hard concept. I'm also one of those wacky people that tends to follow the rules.

I also do not steal. This is another concept that some of my co-workers allegedly do not understand. Supposedly, a strip mall neighbor saw one of our workers (in this case I use that term loosely as he is not real keen on actually working) waiting out back by our dumpster for his friend's van to pull up. Then he opened the dumpster and pulled out bags of merchandise and put it in the van. As we do not have a register behind the store by the dumpster, I can only assume these goods were, as kids these days say, "hot."

On top of this, I still do not steal. But it seems that others do. I just found out that one of my favorite co-workers was accused of stealing money from the cash registers one night while closing. The money was accidentally left in the cash register by this young woman, so she left a note for the morning people to explain (after closing down the registers, you can't get back into them--a manager has to open them again). The person who opened the next morning reported that the money was missing. He, who is also among the losers who do not do a damn thing in the store, accused my young female co-worker of stealing the cash. I wish I had known about this sooner, as I was the other person closing that night. I saw the money in the drawers and saw her shut them. I was there when she wrote the note and say she hoped she wouldn't get in trouble for leaving the money in the registers (this was a policy that changed recently, so she shut the drawers out of habit).

When the female manager, who is way cool and on top of things, told the owner what happened, he did not believe her. Why? Because the loser who does not work told the owner that the girl did it. The manager told him that it was most likely the loser who did it, because he's been getting away with murder for months. The owner dismissed everything she told him. My young co-worker turned her key in. I had been wondering why I hadn't seen her for a while. This girl is a very hard worker and is dedicated to doing a good job. The manager says that since she (the manager) has no penis that the owner won't listen to her. I told her to wear the big inflatable penis costume the next time she talked to the owner. Perhaps he'd listen then.

Now to the looting and pillaging.

People are animals. That is a generalization, but if you stepped foot into the Halloween store this week, you'd agree.


to be continued

The local star, that's me.

For all you Quad Citians, I'm somebody! Reporter and arts and entertainment editor David Burke did a story on me for the Quad-City Times on Sunday, Oct. 16. It was the cover of the Arts & Entertainment section. I mean it was the cover! A HUGE photo of me peering through a mausoleum gate. Ironically, it was the same mausoleum I had my picture taken in front of for the Argus/Dispatch a few weeks ago for the Oakdale Memorial Gardens cemetery walk. But it looks totally different to those not as familiar with Oakdale as me (and Dustin, who even drove by while I was being interviewed--such a hard-core taphophile).

The long of the short of it (or something like that):

- The "Cemetery Walk" book launch event is this coming Sunday (hooray!!!). I have no idea how many people will show up. A good number have RSVP'd, and then there's the newspaper article announcing it. It could mean millions. Okay, maybe hundreds. Okay, maybe 100. I'm game.

- Mom is on food and decoration shopping detail. She and Grandma were working on some table decorations tonight. My friend Katie and I also shopped online for wonderful things. It's a Mardi Gras theme.

- One of the food items is called Plantation Curried Fruit. I am so excited about that! Plus, I'm making my famous (at least I think so) Minda's Huck Finn Sweet Potatoes, which were formerly known as Minda's Sweet Potatoes. I added the Huck Finn in homage to my buddy Mark Twain ... and because I was inspired to make them because of a dinner theater performance of "Big River" at Circa '21.

- I dropped off one more coffin press kit today. This one went to Barnes & Noble at NorthPark Mall in Davenport, Iowa. Bill and I also dropped by Borders in Davenport last night, and I talked to Terry. He apologized for not ordering my book sooner. He's already gotten requests for my book! Wow!!! How cool is that? Hopefully that book signing there will come soon. And, of course, I want to do one at Barnes & Noble.

- As my job with the Spirit Halloween store will be ending in a few weeks, I've decided to apply for another part-time job. I decided on Barnes & Noble, as I love books, I've worked at a bookstore before, and it's pretty close to Palmer (my day job). A few years ago I worked at Borders and really like my old co-workers there (Troy, Terry, Brandon ... and Jen is she's still working there). But they had me in the cafe, and while I love making espresso drinks, I do not like making food food. As a mostly vegetarian person, handling meat and such is totally gross to me. So if I did get hired back there, odds are they'd put me back in the cafe. No thank you. If Barnes & Noble offers me cafe work, I'm going to say no thank you. I've got to do something I know I will enjoy or it won't be worth the extra time away from my husband and the time taken away from my book and magazine stuff.

Why am I looking for an extra job, you may be asking? Because I want to finally pay off some medical bills that have been hanging around, and because I want to start saving for my next trip to New Orleans. I really want to go down for Mardi Gras 2006. They're going to have it, and I want to be there to celebrate the rebirth of the most beautiful city on earth.

- My cat Shakespeare misses me and is having separation anxiety issues. Our other girl India is pretty much upset because two nights a week she has to wait a few extra hours for her dinner. She weighs 20 pounds and is only 3 years old. She's a big baby.

- I'm waiting to hear back from a local music store about jazz funeral musicians for my book event. Cross your fingers that Jason finds some people for it!

- It seems some magazine subscribers mags have either gotten lost in the mail or were accidentally overlooked. Unfortunately, since I'm the only one running and working the show, this has happened. Fortunately, my subscribers are the nicest people on the planet and understand. You guys rule.

- I wish everyone from out of town could make it to the party this weekend. You guys are always with me in spirit, though.

- Say a prayer for my grandma, please. She's going in for a test tomorrow. Send some good energy her way.

- To read the QC Times article from yesterday, click here = http://www.qctimes.net/articles/2005/10/16/features/arts_leisure/doc4351c440a5949802502773.txt

- TheCemeteryClub.com has surpassed the 6,000 mark. Hooray!!!

Well, that's it for me tonight if I want to go to bed kind of on time. First I need to do laundry, which I forgot again until just now. Got to wash my Spirit Halloween shirt for tomorrow night! Work work work! If you're in the area, stop in and say hi.

G'night
Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

Spirit Halloween Superstore, how may I help you?

If you call the Davenport Spirit Halloween store, you will hear that on the other end of the line--and you might just be talking to me! Yep, I got a part-time job at the local Halloween shop. And it's not just any run of the mill spooky store--it is the area's craziest and biggest Halloween store! For a part-time job, it's pretty sweet. I mean, I am the cemetery grrrl after all.

It all started when I was kicking around the idea of getting a part-time job for the holiday season. With the ridiculous gas prices (which are completely uncalled for and unnecessary, thank you, Mr. Bush and evil corporate cronies), a new car and the holidays coming up, times are tight. On top of that, I've got a book and magazine to promote! That takes time and money, my friends. I've got to save money up for the book tour, you know. A self publisher is far from rich! (at least for now ;-)

So I happen upon the listing for the Spirit store. How perfect! It's only through Nov. 1, and it's HALLOWEEN! Perfect. This way I can decide if part-time on top of full-time on top of book and magazine will work for me, and it's only for a month. And it's HALLOWEEN! And I love it. What a sweet job! I get to be in a huge store chock full of Halloween craziness. It's perfect! I get to help people, who are mostly very nice. And I also get to fully appreciate the proper upbringing I got from my parents. Because, let me tell you, there are some kids who are obnoxious. But worse than that is the fact that THEIR PARENTS are worse than they are! First of all, the kids act like they were raised by psychotic wolves (because I honestly think wolves could have done a much better job of raising decent kids). Tossing things around. Putting mask after mask on. Tossing them aside. Licking them.

Important aside: I highly recommend to my intelligent readers that you DO NOT ever buy a mask at a store unless you have the intent of Lysoling the hell out of it once you get that sucker home. You can't imagine how many people try those things on EVERY DAY. Cootie central. Better yet, go to www.spirithalloweenstore.com and order one off of the site. A brand new one. It will be worth it.

Back to the losers that come into the store. While I don't mind straightening up--because things just get messy--there is a big difference between normal messiness and people who are just a**holes. You know what I'm talking about. And don't get me started about the people lifting costumes or other items. Yes, the costumes and such can be pretty pricey. But that's life. And if you are stealing items, you're making the prices shoot up that much higher. It's like our gas prices ... thieves are in charge of the oil, and it is the thieves that price the gas ridiculously high. Long story short: don't steal, freaks!

But aside from the random idiots of the area, work at the Halloween store is sweet. And they pay me to do it! I get to help people find wacky items. People are usually in a good mood, as they're looking for costumes and props and stuff for an upcoming good time.

Another word to the wise. No matter where you go, it's pretty much the given rule that if it's a Halloween item, there are no returns. That's just the way of the holiday world. People are all about returning something they wore to a party "but didn't get dirty." Not everyone, mind you, but enough to make this rule a rule. We're not the only store that does this by a long shot.

Anyway, though my feet are tired (three day in a row of long shifts on my feet, and I'm a sore footed wuss! Desk jobs will kill ya!), it was a fun day. Right as we were closing, I got a call from a woman who wanted a costume in a plus size. I went over and found a couple for her and described them. What do they come with? How big are they? I tell her and tell her the size suggestions, etc. Can you take them out and see how big they really are? Will they fill a person of such and such size? I was on the phone a good 10 minutes with her. I thought she was going to have me try it on to see if it would fit HER! Geez, lady, I don't know what you even look like! She was very nice, though, and appreciated the help I gave her. No problem. I'm here to help.

Well, I'm also here to see my beloved husband, who is dozing on the couch. His band played for a kids Halloween program today. With my new evening and weekend schedule at Spirit and his evening and day hours and Saturday hours at the museum, we don't see each other nearly as much as we're used to. We miss each other! So I'm going to snuggle up with him and watch a scary movie and drink some hot cocoa. Sounds like a perfect night to me.

Cheers!
Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

Check out the new book! It's on the site!

The magazine and the book are done!!!

At long last the wait is over. "Epitaphs Magazine" was available for the first time this past Saturday (during the Oakdale Memorial Gardens' Forget-Me-Not event), and my book "Cemetery Walk" is now for sale online! What a week!

And now, in order to supplement the selling and buying of books and such, I have taken on a new thing--a part-time job! I am now the newest employee of the Spirit Halloween Store! I'll be working there through the end of October. I'm looking forward to it. Me and Halloween? What a match!

So much to share, but Bill just got home from work (he had to work at the museum until 9 p.m.). Need to spend time with my hubby!

Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

Links About Our Current Times


In Exile - NOLA
by Abram Himelstein, who ran The Neighborhood Story Project in New Orleans until forced to flee by Hurricane Katrina. He's staying with family in Houston, trying to piece his life together and find the children he once taught to write. He'll blog his experiences here. (Incredibly well-written and thought-provoking. Start reading from the bottom up to go in order.)
http://blogs.chron.com/exile/

"Katrina's Real Name: Global Warming:
MotherJones.com
http://www.motherjones.com/commentary/columns/2005/08/katrina.html

Knowing what it means to miss New Orleans

My husband and I never lived in New Orleans, but we have discussed the possibility many times. If it weren't for the heat much of the year, we just might have made the move to NOLA. There is something about the city that gets inside your skin. Its beauty, its complex history, its mix of people. When we visited in the summer for our first wedding anniversary, you couldn't walk down to a new street corner without hearing "Summertime."

Before Katrina, I missed New Orleans every day. I have postcards of her in my cubicle at work. I decorated our bedroom with Mardi Gras masks, framed vintage postcards and a vintage decorative plate. There's an old map of the Quarter framed in our kitchen as well as a collage frame of pictures of Bill and I from that anniversary trip. Before Katrina, there were already reminders of the city that stole my heart. Now I wonder, as we all do, when that city will return.

As of late last night, I heard from the last acquaintance of mine from the area. Rob and his family are okay. The Priestess and her partner are okay. Deb and her family are okay, Ericka and Ryan are okay. I am so very relieved. My heart still aches for those who have been lost, though. How can it not? How can any of us not feel the loss of so many?

Last December, when Bill and my parents and I visited NOLA, I met Priestess Miriam. As a tour group shuffled through the store and back room of the Voodoo Spiritual Temple, she said, "Come on in, everyone. After the tsunami and all the lives we have lost, let's see how many we have left. Come on in." I was touched by what she said then. I had no idea how fitting her words would become.

As you may know, for those of you on my e-mail list, I am dedicating the second issue of "Epitaphs Magazine" to the cemeteries of New Orleans. I would also like to open this up to the all the cemeteries of the South that were affected by Katrina. There is already talk of how people are concerned about the fate of these historic cemeteries. The concern is always prefaced by the expression of wanting to help the living first, though the cemetery concern is always underlying. Of course, it is. It is nothing to be ashamed of. We have all come together because of our love for cemeteries and the history inside them. It is a given that the living come first. Not a one of you has to worry about anyone thinking you are only thinking of the dead. I have seen more heart in these groups than I have time to share right now before I head to work. We may be cemetery lovers, but first and foremost, we love them because we celebrate life.

My heart goes out to everyone affected by the hurricane, and I wish you the best. If there is anything your fellow Americans and cemetery lovers can do, all you need to do is ask.

All the best,
Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

Hurricane Katrina and dear New Orleans

Working on "Cemetery Walk" led me to meet many wonderful people. Some of these people are from New Orleans and the surrounding area. I am so worried about all of them and their family and other loved ones.

I did look up author Deborah LeBlanc's Web site (www.deborahleblanc.com) and checked her blog. She is okay. She was in New York when it happened. Her family, though, was in Lafayette. They are all fine, and she has been driving and driving endless hours to get to them before continuing her book tour. Thank goodness you are all right, Deb.

Ericka and Ryan, who I know through the Grave-L Yahoo group also checked in with the list. They are in Baton Rouge and are okay. They finally got power back. Ryan's parents are with them. They live in New Orleans. Ericka says they will be allowed in NOLA Monday to gather their belongings and see what is left of their home. Then they won't be allowed back in for a month. I can't imagine. I just can't imagine.

I am still praying that Rob Florence and his family are safe as well as Priestess Miriam and her family.

To all of you in the South who have been affected by this devastation, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish I could make this better.

Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

From "Endeca"

Dr. Avery wasn't able to come see me again today. That is just fine by me. It's quite wonderful really. Because Dr. Hamilton came in his stead. Dr. Hamilton is quite lovely, as I belive I've told you before, Diary. While he is much older than me, there is nothing wrong in that. After all, Mother married Father, and he is twenty years her senior! Dr. Hamilton is so young compared to Dr. Avery, who is quite ancient, that I can't imagine he is more than ten years older than me. Regardless, he is handsome and kind and gentle. He is everything I can imagine in a husband.

What am I going on about? How foolish of me to think that this man could ever be interested in a cripple such as me. Mother tells me not to refer to myself as a cripple, but I know that it is only because people in fine society do not have cripples as relations. But what else can I be called? Thadius (that is my handsome doctor's name!) never treats me like I am crippled or defective. To be honest, he treats me as a friend. He is the only one of my regular visitors who does. He talks to me about how he enjoys riding, even though Mary is not so fond of it (I can only assume Mary is his sister). He also shows me pictures he's drawn. He told me today, "You know, Miss Emily, you are the only one I've ever shown my drawing book to. Mary thinks such things are frivolous and that I should only concentrate my energies on my doctoring, as she calls it. So you and I have a secret."

I told him it is a secret I appreciate very much and that I didn't think it was frivolous at all. In fact, I think it is imperative that he keep drawing. His sketches of landscapes I've never seen and probably will never bring the world to me. That's just what he told me once. "If Miss Emily can't come to the world, the world shall come to Miss Emily." He has even given me some of his drawings. I treasure them so! Oh, Diary, I do so love him!

I have my paper topic!!!

I have figured out my paper topic for the Museum of Funeral Customs symposium. Hooray! While sitting in a meeting going over things we have gone over many many times, I took notes for other work stuff as well as thoughts I was having about what I would be interested in writing about. I had been stuck on post-mortem photography since I first learned about the proposal submission. It's a fascinating topic, but I wasn't sure which angle would be the best. And all resulted in "ack!"

Then it struck me. Like a little brick! What have I been obsessed with for the many years of my life? What did I focus much of my studies on in college (and as much as I could get away on in high school in the land of HIS-story)? Women's studies! So, when I started jotting down ideas and "Women's Roles in Mourning" came out, it was a big TA-DA! As my mother often says, "Oompriaco!" How that is really spelled, I do not know. But as my paper is not about "Oompriaco," I dont' care.

So "Women's Roles in Mourning" it is. I am so excited! It's so me! And I am on it, to quote my good friend Katie.

Now for other plans ...

Halloween. Friends, it is only a couple of months away. Do you know what you're going to be for the big day? Katie is planning on being Carrie, of Stephen King fame. What a great costume! But what about me? I have two main choices at this point: a murderous socialite (ish) or a suicidal writer. No, I'm not going to be any Sharon Stone character or Sylvia Plath. I may get a little down sometimes, but I'm not that depressed! My choices are currently: Lizzie Borden or Dorothy Parker. So post-Victorian with axe accesory or roaring 20s flapper writer with poisonous pen. Either way, I just can't lose!

***

Considering that I have the decision made on the paper topic, that's one major project goal decided. Now to go forth and figure out the book conundrum. Loving that word this week. Conundrum, hooray! Fiction novel? Non-fiction cemetery part deux/dos/etc.? Some other non-fiction? Children's book called "Abracadaver: Embalming is Fun!" Now that's just silly. I don't really know enough about embalming to write a book on it. Good times, nonetheless!

Goddess gracious, thank Goddess it's Friday! I am so excited that the weekend is just about here (50 minutes away and counting). It's been a long one. I'm tired, I've got a lot going on, my brain is jumbled, my house is a mess (and no elves have come in to straighten it up) and I just want to go see a movie! My husband's schedule this weekend is crazy (and has been crazy and will continue to be crazy), so it's often just a kiss and run, hi/bye/see ya time with him. Bill! I miss you! The cats miss their dad! :-) Once things calm down, it will all be good. Sunday we're planning to take a road trip. It will be lovely.

For anyone who is in the area, remember that the Forget-Me-Not: Victorian Day at Oakdale Memorial Gardens event will take place Saturday, Sept. 24, from 1-5 p.m. Be there or be in a toe-pincher.

Enjoy the weekend, me hardies! Arrrrhhhh!!!!!!

Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com

Happiness is a co-dependent cat.

At least she thinks it is. Shakespeare, my 6 1/2-year-old calico/tortoise shell girl loves me very much. She also owns me and wants to be on my lap at all times when I am home. I love that about her but also wish she didn't feel so adamant about being on my lap every time I get on this computer. It's not even so bad when I'm using my laptop because I can manuever her better. But on our iMac online, it's a lot more difficult to balance her and type easily. And typing is supposed to be easy! The cat is a brat.

The reason for the posting is not really about the cat, though. It's about crossroads. I feel I'm at a crossroads. Again. Any time I'm between projects I feel this way. Now those of you who know me (TC, Todd, Kristin, Kelly, Timmo, etc.) know that my version of "between projects" is different than other people's idea of it. I have tons of stuff going on, but nothing that is soul-consuming. I like soul-consuming. It keeps my mind off of other issues.

I'm wondering what to do next regarding my next book. Fiction or non-fiction? What should I write for my symposium proposal? All this stuff.

More later...

From "Endeca"

She dreams of him behind violet eyelids. He pulse quickens inside blue veins. Everything is in color. The well is red. The swing she is on is white. On her feet are black shoes. She feels his hands pushing at her lower back each time her pendulum of motion takes her to him. She comes to him, he pushes her away with the knowledge that she will always come back.

In her dream, she closes her eyes, enhancing the sensation of falling and flying as the swing carries her up up up then back back back. Will she dream inside her dream? Will she fly as she falls?

Wake up next morning, she tells herself. No, wake up a hundred mornings from now. Tomorrow is too soon. The spell is cast; don't break it. Fill the sleeping mind with dreams and leave the days of being propped up like a ragdoll behind. There must be more in store for her than a lifeless childhood. There must be love, there must be meaning. I know he loves me, she think. I know he must. He must.

Sunlight cracks in through the same eyelids that closed it out. Fight it. Don't let it win! Wake up and you'll be nothing again. A burden.

"I believe in ghosts. I believe in ghosts. I believe in the dead. I believe in the dead."

Her mantra repeat as the clank of dishes from the kitchen below pulls her even further out of her sleep.

We have surpassed 5,000 visitors!

Woooo hoooo! TheCemeteryClub.com has had more than 5,000 visitors! Finally! The site is somebody!!!!

So cool. So awesome. Now if only it would hit that number daily when my book comes out ... and at least half of them buy the book at that time.

I haven't posted for a while. My day job just celebrated homecoming. Major big deal. Wacky time. Crazy hours. My husband was on the team that opened the new museum in town the weekend before. Craaa-zy times for him. But super cool museum.

I do have a topic for tonight before I go to bed. I am dag tired, for sure. Friendship. Friendship is a strange thing. It seems like it would be easy, but it's really not. I guess all things worth having are worth working for. For instance, I've been a slacker girl when it comes to a number of my friends. If I don't get regular e-mail from them, it's as if my brain forgets they are around. Suddenly months have passed and I'm super lame-o friend! Gosh, today I didn't even get home to see my lovely husband until nearly 10 p.m. Why? Because I was hanging out in the American Legion with my new friend (and many of my own family members). This new friend knew my grandpa many moons ago when Grandpa was in Buddies of the Airlanes. It was a fun night, but then I get home and my husband is already in bed. I feel a bit like a schmuck.

Ah, friendship. Friendship and the meaning of it change as we get older. Even as kids the boy/girl dichotomy can get in the way. Girls play with this, boys with that. As we get older and marriage starts setting in, a whole bunch of other issues can kick in. Jealousy. Misunderstandings. Best of intentions. Men/women issues. That stinks. I really do not like the whole idea that "men and women can't be friends without the sex part getting in the way" ("When Harry Met Sally ..."). That is one of my favorite movies ever, but I just don't agree with that line. Even if two friends are attracted to each other (which they are at least mentally), the "sex thing" isn't necessarily even a "sex thing." It can merely be, "Hey, there's my friend Keanu Reeves. He's my best friend and he's really hot." Doesn't have to mean there is a physical relationship going on or building or even a potential. Just because Keanu is a beautiful human doesn't mean he's going to sleep with everyone. And if he were to do such a thing, that wouldn't mean that male/female friendship is bad; it would just mean he's a bit of a 'ho. (Sorry, Keanu! I mean nothing by it! Just an example!)

So here's the deal. I've had some interesting friendships with men. Let's start with gradeschool and the boys. A couple of my recess friends were boys. One, who I'll call Jack, was a sweet kid and kind of cute in a bit of a dorky way. He had horned-rimmed glasses, freckles, wasn't too tall. But he was funny and nice. I used to play with him and his other friend at recess. I had a little crush on him, but it never got in the way of our recess time.

Fast forward to high school (as junior high sucked). I was really good friends with a guy I will call Sam. Sam and I did everything together. Total buds. We both eventually seemed to like each other as more than friends after a long while. I thought, wow! I'm going to finally have a boyfriend! Weird, but cool! No. Right after this near-revelation, he started dating MY BEST FRIEND. This was just wonderful. Then, when they started having troubles, each of them started calling me to cry on my shoulder. I was way over that before it began. I learned later that he may have liked me, but this "friend" "put out." Lovely.

Second major high school crush. We'll call him Aubry (because we can). Thought he was the bee's knees. Again, glasses, freckles (hmm, a trend?), kinda pale, slightly tall but not really. Incredibly dry sense of humor. I thought he was awesome. Very smart and witty. My friend (the same #)$(#(@## that dated my old best friend, told that best friend that I had a crush on Aubry, who he was friends with. I walked into English class the next day, Aubry said hi to me--and the way he said "hi" (that one little word) told me that he knew. I said hi back really quickly and sat down without another word. I totally missed my window. We were still friends but it was weird. Especially when he started dating this other chick from out of nowhere and sported remarkably large hickeys on his neck. Very proud of them. Ick. Totally gross. Another friendship made lame.

Still in high school, I had a very good friend who adored me. We did everything together. I know he cared about me very much. But he eventually got too mixed up in a number of things to vast to go into here. Plus, I think he's at least a little big gay.

And speaking of gay friends! A number of years ago I had a friend who did lots with me. We were good buddies. He was gay as gay can be. I was not. I was single at the time and getting teased by yet another guy (who I'm pretty sure is gay and deep in the closet). This friend started saying things like, "I could get you to do anything I want. I bet you I could." What he meant was, like the "addition" to fortune cookies "... in bed." Whatever! Hello! Gay! Me woman! You man!" Lordy.

So you see, friendship can be like walking on egg shells ... or burning coals. It can also be very great. Ah, we humans can make things so very difficult.

Anyway, frienship is wonderful. I treasure my friends like, well, treasure! But there can be outside factors that change the perception of two friends. Some good, so bad. But as Wes our workstudy says, "It is what it is. It will be what it will be." Thanks, Wes. You are a man smarter then you know.

Minda

www.TheCemeteryClub.com