Links About Our Current Times
In Exile - NOLA
by Abram Himelstein, who ran The Neighborhood Story Project in New Orleans until forced to flee by Hurricane Katrina. He's staying with family in Houston, trying to piece his life together and find the children he once taught to write. He'll blog his experiences here. (Incredibly well-written and thought-provoking. Start reading from the bottom up to go in order.)
http://blogs.chron.com/exile/
"Katrina's Real Name: Global Warming:
MotherJones.com
http://www.motherjones.com/commentary/columns/2005/08/katrina.html
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Knowing what it means to miss New Orleans
My husband and I never lived in New Orleans, but we have discussed the possibility many times. If it weren't for the heat much of the year, we just might have made the move to NOLA. There is something about the city that gets inside your skin. Its beauty, its complex history, its mix of people. When we visited in the summer for our first wedding anniversary, you couldn't walk down to a new street corner without hearing "Summertime."
Before Katrina, I missed New Orleans every day. I have postcards of her in my cubicle at work. I decorated our bedroom with Mardi Gras masks, framed vintage postcards and a vintage decorative plate. There's an old map of the Quarter framed in our kitchen as well as a collage frame of pictures of Bill and I from that anniversary trip. Before Katrina, there were already reminders of the city that stole my heart. Now I wonder, as we all do, when that city will return.
As of late last night, I heard from the last acquaintance of mine from the area. Rob and his family are okay. The Priestess and her partner are okay. Deb and her family are okay, Ericka and Ryan are okay. I am so very relieved. My heart still aches for those who have been lost, though. How can it not? How can any of us not feel the loss of so many?
Last December, when Bill and my parents and I visited NOLA, I met Priestess Miriam. As a tour group shuffled through the store and back room of the Voodoo Spiritual Temple, she said, "Come on in, everyone. After the tsunami and all the lives we have lost, let's see how many we have left. Come on in." I was touched by what she said then. I had no idea how fitting her words would become.
As you may know, for those of you on my e-mail list, I am dedicating the second issue of "Epitaphs Magazine" to the cemeteries of New Orleans. I would also like to open this up to the all the cemeteries of the South that were affected by Katrina. There is already talk of how people are concerned about the fate of these historic cemeteries. The concern is always prefaced by the expression of wanting to help the living first, though the cemetery concern is always underlying. Of course, it is. It is nothing to be ashamed of. We have all come together because of our love for cemeteries and the history inside them. It is a given that the living come first. Not a one of you has to worry about anyone thinking you are only thinking of the dead. I have seen more heart in these groups than I have time to share right now before I head to work. We may be cemetery lovers, but first and foremost, we love them because we celebrate life.
My heart goes out to everyone affected by the hurricane, and I wish you the best. If there is anything your fellow Americans and cemetery lovers can do, all you need to do is ask.
All the best,
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
My husband and I never lived in New Orleans, but we have discussed the possibility many times. If it weren't for the heat much of the year, we just might have made the move to NOLA. There is something about the city that gets inside your skin. Its beauty, its complex history, its mix of people. When we visited in the summer for our first wedding anniversary, you couldn't walk down to a new street corner without hearing "Summertime."
Before Katrina, I missed New Orleans every day. I have postcards of her in my cubicle at work. I decorated our bedroom with Mardi Gras masks, framed vintage postcards and a vintage decorative plate. There's an old map of the Quarter framed in our kitchen as well as a collage frame of pictures of Bill and I from that anniversary trip. Before Katrina, there were already reminders of the city that stole my heart. Now I wonder, as we all do, when that city will return.
As of late last night, I heard from the last acquaintance of mine from the area. Rob and his family are okay. The Priestess and her partner are okay. Deb and her family are okay, Ericka and Ryan are okay. I am so very relieved. My heart still aches for those who have been lost, though. How can it not? How can any of us not feel the loss of so many?
Last December, when Bill and my parents and I visited NOLA, I met Priestess Miriam. As a tour group shuffled through the store and back room of the Voodoo Spiritual Temple, she said, "Come on in, everyone. After the tsunami and all the lives we have lost, let's see how many we have left. Come on in." I was touched by what she said then. I had no idea how fitting her words would become.
As you may know, for those of you on my e-mail list, I am dedicating the second issue of "Epitaphs Magazine" to the cemeteries of New Orleans. I would also like to open this up to the all the cemeteries of the South that were affected by Katrina. There is already talk of how people are concerned about the fate of these historic cemeteries. The concern is always prefaced by the expression of wanting to help the living first, though the cemetery concern is always underlying. Of course, it is. It is nothing to be ashamed of. We have all come together because of our love for cemeteries and the history inside them. It is a given that the living come first. Not a one of you has to worry about anyone thinking you are only thinking of the dead. I have seen more heart in these groups than I have time to share right now before I head to work. We may be cemetery lovers, but first and foremost, we love them because we celebrate life.
My heart goes out to everyone affected by the hurricane, and I wish you the best. If there is anything your fellow Americans and cemetery lovers can do, all you need to do is ask.
All the best,
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Hurricane Katrina and dear New Orleans
Working on "Cemetery Walk" led me to meet many wonderful people. Some of these people are from New Orleans and the surrounding area. I am so worried about all of them and their family and other loved ones.
I did look up author Deborah LeBlanc's Web site (www.deborahleblanc.com) and checked her blog. She is okay. She was in New York when it happened. Her family, though, was in Lafayette. They are all fine, and she has been driving and driving endless hours to get to them before continuing her book tour. Thank goodness you are all right, Deb.
Ericka and Ryan, who I know through the Grave-L Yahoo group also checked in with the list. They are in Baton Rouge and are okay. They finally got power back. Ryan's parents are with them. They live in New Orleans. Ericka says they will be allowed in NOLA Monday to gather their belongings and see what is left of their home. Then they won't be allowed back in for a month. I can't imagine. I just can't imagine.
I am still praying that Rob Florence and his family are safe as well as Priestess Miriam and her family.
To all of you in the South who have been affected by this devastation, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish I could make this better.
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Working on "Cemetery Walk" led me to meet many wonderful people. Some of these people are from New Orleans and the surrounding area. I am so worried about all of them and their family and other loved ones.
I did look up author Deborah LeBlanc's Web site (www.deborahleblanc.com) and checked her blog. She is okay. She was in New York when it happened. Her family, though, was in Lafayette. They are all fine, and she has been driving and driving endless hours to get to them before continuing her book tour. Thank goodness you are all right, Deb.
Ericka and Ryan, who I know through the Grave-L Yahoo group also checked in with the list. They are in Baton Rouge and are okay. They finally got power back. Ryan's parents are with them. They live in New Orleans. Ericka says they will be allowed in NOLA Monday to gather their belongings and see what is left of their home. Then they won't be allowed back in for a month. I can't imagine. I just can't imagine.
I am still praying that Rob Florence and his family are safe as well as Priestess Miriam and her family.
To all of you in the South who have been affected by this devastation, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish I could make this better.
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Sunday, August 28, 2005
From "Endeca"
Dr. Avery wasn't able to come see me again today. That is just fine by me. It's quite wonderful really. Because Dr. Hamilton came in his stead. Dr. Hamilton is quite lovely, as I belive I've told you before, Diary. While he is much older than me, there is nothing wrong in that. After all, Mother married Father, and he is twenty years her senior! Dr. Hamilton is so young compared to Dr. Avery, who is quite ancient, that I can't imagine he is more than ten years older than me. Regardless, he is handsome and kind and gentle. He is everything I can imagine in a husband.
What am I going on about? How foolish of me to think that this man could ever be interested in a cripple such as me. Mother tells me not to refer to myself as a cripple, but I know that it is only because people in fine society do not have cripples as relations. But what else can I be called? Thadius (that is my handsome doctor's name!) never treats me like I am crippled or defective. To be honest, he treats me as a friend. He is the only one of my regular visitors who does. He talks to me about how he enjoys riding, even though Mary is not so fond of it (I can only assume Mary is his sister). He also shows me pictures he's drawn. He told me today, "You know, Miss Emily, you are the only one I've ever shown my drawing book to. Mary thinks such things are frivolous and that I should only concentrate my energies on my doctoring, as she calls it. So you and I have a secret."
I told him it is a secret I appreciate very much and that I didn't think it was frivolous at all. In fact, I think it is imperative that he keep drawing. His sketches of landscapes I've never seen and probably will never bring the world to me. That's just what he told me once. "If Miss Emily can't come to the world, the world shall come to Miss Emily." He has even given me some of his drawings. I treasure them so! Oh, Diary, I do so love him!
Dr. Avery wasn't able to come see me again today. That is just fine by me. It's quite wonderful really. Because Dr. Hamilton came in his stead. Dr. Hamilton is quite lovely, as I belive I've told you before, Diary. While he is much older than me, there is nothing wrong in that. After all, Mother married Father, and he is twenty years her senior! Dr. Hamilton is so young compared to Dr. Avery, who is quite ancient, that I can't imagine he is more than ten years older than me. Regardless, he is handsome and kind and gentle. He is everything I can imagine in a husband.
What am I going on about? How foolish of me to think that this man could ever be interested in a cripple such as me. Mother tells me not to refer to myself as a cripple, but I know that it is only because people in fine society do not have cripples as relations. But what else can I be called? Thadius (that is my handsome doctor's name!) never treats me like I am crippled or defective. To be honest, he treats me as a friend. He is the only one of my regular visitors who does. He talks to me about how he enjoys riding, even though Mary is not so fond of it (I can only assume Mary is his sister). He also shows me pictures he's drawn. He told me today, "You know, Miss Emily, you are the only one I've ever shown my drawing book to. Mary thinks such things are frivolous and that I should only concentrate my energies on my doctoring, as she calls it. So you and I have a secret."
I told him it is a secret I appreciate very much and that I didn't think it was frivolous at all. In fact, I think it is imperative that he keep drawing. His sketches of landscapes I've never seen and probably will never bring the world to me. That's just what he told me once. "If Miss Emily can't come to the world, the world shall come to Miss Emily." He has even given me some of his drawings. I treasure them so! Oh, Diary, I do so love him!
Friday, August 19, 2005
I have my paper topic!!!
I have figured out my paper topic for the Museum of Funeral Customs symposium. Hooray! While sitting in a meeting going over things we have gone over many many times, I took notes for other work stuff as well as thoughts I was having about what I would be interested in writing about. I had been stuck on post-mortem photography since I first learned about the proposal submission. It's a fascinating topic, but I wasn't sure which angle would be the best. And all resulted in "ack!"
Then it struck me. Like a little brick! What have I been obsessed with for the many years of my life? What did I focus much of my studies on in college (and as much as I could get away on in high school in the land of HIS-story)? Women's studies! So, when I started jotting down ideas and "Women's Roles in Mourning" came out, it was a big TA-DA! As my mother often says, "Oompriaco!" How that is really spelled, I do not know. But as my paper is not about "Oompriaco," I dont' care.
So "Women's Roles in Mourning" it is. I am so excited! It's so me! And I am on it, to quote my good friend Katie.
Now for other plans ...
Halloween. Friends, it is only a couple of months away. Do you know what you're going to be for the big day? Katie is planning on being Carrie, of Stephen King fame. What a great costume! But what about me? I have two main choices at this point: a murderous socialite (ish) or a suicidal writer. No, I'm not going to be any Sharon Stone character or Sylvia Plath. I may get a little down sometimes, but I'm not that depressed! My choices are currently: Lizzie Borden or Dorothy Parker. So post-Victorian with axe accesory or roaring 20s flapper writer with poisonous pen. Either way, I just can't lose!
***
Considering that I have the decision made on the paper topic, that's one major project goal decided. Now to go forth and figure out the book conundrum. Loving that word this week. Conundrum, hooray! Fiction novel? Non-fiction cemetery part deux/dos/etc.? Some other non-fiction? Children's book called "Abracadaver: Embalming is Fun!" Now that's just silly. I don't really know enough about embalming to write a book on it. Good times, nonetheless!
Goddess gracious, thank Goddess it's Friday! I am so excited that the weekend is just about here (50 minutes away and counting). It's been a long one. I'm tired, I've got a lot going on, my brain is jumbled, my house is a mess (and no elves have come in to straighten it up) and I just want to go see a movie! My husband's schedule this weekend is crazy (and has been crazy and will continue to be crazy), so it's often just a kiss and run, hi/bye/see ya time with him. Bill! I miss you! The cats miss their dad! :-) Once things calm down, it will all be good. Sunday we're planning to take a road trip. It will be lovely.
For anyone who is in the area, remember that the Forget-Me-Not: Victorian Day at Oakdale Memorial Gardens event will take place Saturday, Sept. 24, from 1-5 p.m. Be there or be in a toe-pincher.
Enjoy the weekend, me hardies! Arrrrhhhh!!!!!!
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
I have figured out my paper topic for the Museum of Funeral Customs symposium. Hooray! While sitting in a meeting going over things we have gone over many many times, I took notes for other work stuff as well as thoughts I was having about what I would be interested in writing about. I had been stuck on post-mortem photography since I first learned about the proposal submission. It's a fascinating topic, but I wasn't sure which angle would be the best. And all resulted in "ack!"
Then it struck me. Like a little brick! What have I been obsessed with for the many years of my life? What did I focus much of my studies on in college (and as much as I could get away on in high school in the land of HIS-story)? Women's studies! So, when I started jotting down ideas and "Women's Roles in Mourning" came out, it was a big TA-DA! As my mother often says, "Oompriaco!" How that is really spelled, I do not know. But as my paper is not about "Oompriaco," I dont' care.
So "Women's Roles in Mourning" it is. I am so excited! It's so me! And I am on it, to quote my good friend Katie.
Now for other plans ...
Halloween. Friends, it is only a couple of months away. Do you know what you're going to be for the big day? Katie is planning on being Carrie, of Stephen King fame. What a great costume! But what about me? I have two main choices at this point: a murderous socialite (ish) or a suicidal writer. No, I'm not going to be any Sharon Stone character or Sylvia Plath. I may get a little down sometimes, but I'm not that depressed! My choices are currently: Lizzie Borden or Dorothy Parker. So post-Victorian with axe accesory or roaring 20s flapper writer with poisonous pen. Either way, I just can't lose!
***
Considering that I have the decision made on the paper topic, that's one major project goal decided. Now to go forth and figure out the book conundrum. Loving that word this week. Conundrum, hooray! Fiction novel? Non-fiction cemetery part deux/dos/etc.? Some other non-fiction? Children's book called "Abracadaver: Embalming is Fun!" Now that's just silly. I don't really know enough about embalming to write a book on it. Good times, nonetheless!
Goddess gracious, thank Goddess it's Friday! I am so excited that the weekend is just about here (50 minutes away and counting). It's been a long one. I'm tired, I've got a lot going on, my brain is jumbled, my house is a mess (and no elves have come in to straighten it up) and I just want to go see a movie! My husband's schedule this weekend is crazy (and has been crazy and will continue to be crazy), so it's often just a kiss and run, hi/bye/see ya time with him. Bill! I miss you! The cats miss their dad! :-) Once things calm down, it will all be good. Sunday we're planning to take a road trip. It will be lovely.
For anyone who is in the area, remember that the Forget-Me-Not: Victorian Day at Oakdale Memorial Gardens event will take place Saturday, Sept. 24, from 1-5 p.m. Be there or be in a toe-pincher.
Enjoy the weekend, me hardies! Arrrrhhhh!!!!!!
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Happiness is a co-dependent cat.
At least she thinks it is. Shakespeare, my 6 1/2-year-old calico/tortoise shell girl loves me very much. She also owns me and wants to be on my lap at all times when I am home. I love that about her but also wish she didn't feel so adamant about being on my lap every time I get on this computer. It's not even so bad when I'm using my laptop because I can manuever her better. But on our iMac online, it's a lot more difficult to balance her and type easily. And typing is supposed to be easy! The cat is a brat.
The reason for the posting is not really about the cat, though. It's about crossroads. I feel I'm at a crossroads. Again. Any time I'm between projects I feel this way. Now those of you who know me (TC, Todd, Kristin, Kelly, Timmo, etc.) know that my version of "between projects" is different than other people's idea of it. I have tons of stuff going on, but nothing that is soul-consuming. I like soul-consuming. It keeps my mind off of other issues.
I'm wondering what to do next regarding my next book. Fiction or non-fiction? What should I write for my symposium proposal? All this stuff.
More later...
At least she thinks it is. Shakespeare, my 6 1/2-year-old calico/tortoise shell girl loves me very much. She also owns me and wants to be on my lap at all times when I am home. I love that about her but also wish she didn't feel so adamant about being on my lap every time I get on this computer. It's not even so bad when I'm using my laptop because I can manuever her better. But on our iMac online, it's a lot more difficult to balance her and type easily. And typing is supposed to be easy! The cat is a brat.
The reason for the posting is not really about the cat, though. It's about crossroads. I feel I'm at a crossroads. Again. Any time I'm between projects I feel this way. Now those of you who know me (TC, Todd, Kristin, Kelly, Timmo, etc.) know that my version of "between projects" is different than other people's idea of it. I have tons of stuff going on, but nothing that is soul-consuming. I like soul-consuming. It keeps my mind off of other issues.
I'm wondering what to do next regarding my next book. Fiction or non-fiction? What should I write for my symposium proposal? All this stuff.
More later...
From "Endeca"
She dreams of him behind violet eyelids. He pulse quickens inside blue veins. Everything is in color. The well is red. The swing she is on is white. On her feet are black shoes. She feels his hands pushing at her lower back each time her pendulum of motion takes her to him. She comes to him, he pushes her away with the knowledge that she will always come back.
In her dream, she closes her eyes, enhancing the sensation of falling and flying as the swing carries her up up up then back back back. Will she dream inside her dream? Will she fly as she falls?
Wake up next morning, she tells herself. No, wake up a hundred mornings from now. Tomorrow is too soon. The spell is cast; don't break it. Fill the sleeping mind with dreams and leave the days of being propped up like a ragdoll behind. There must be more in store for her than a lifeless childhood. There must be love, there must be meaning. I know he loves me, she think. I know he must. He must.
Sunlight cracks in through the same eyelids that closed it out. Fight it. Don't let it win! Wake up and you'll be nothing again. A burden.
"I believe in ghosts. I believe in ghosts. I believe in the dead. I believe in the dead."
Her mantra repeat as the clank of dishes from the kitchen below pulls her even further out of her sleep.
She dreams of him behind violet eyelids. He pulse quickens inside blue veins. Everything is in color. The well is red. The swing she is on is white. On her feet are black shoes. She feels his hands pushing at her lower back each time her pendulum of motion takes her to him. She comes to him, he pushes her away with the knowledge that she will always come back.
In her dream, she closes her eyes, enhancing the sensation of falling and flying as the swing carries her up up up then back back back. Will she dream inside her dream? Will she fly as she falls?
Wake up next morning, she tells herself. No, wake up a hundred mornings from now. Tomorrow is too soon. The spell is cast; don't break it. Fill the sleeping mind with dreams and leave the days of being propped up like a ragdoll behind. There must be more in store for her than a lifeless childhood. There must be love, there must be meaning. I know he loves me, she think. I know he must. He must.
Sunlight cracks in through the same eyelids that closed it out. Fight it. Don't let it win! Wake up and you'll be nothing again. A burden.
"I believe in ghosts. I believe in ghosts. I believe in the dead. I believe in the dead."
Her mantra repeat as the clank of dishes from the kitchen below pulls her even further out of her sleep.
Monday, August 15, 2005
We have surpassed 5,000 visitors!
Woooo hoooo! TheCemeteryClub.com has had more than 5,000 visitors! Finally! The site is somebody!!!!
So cool. So awesome. Now if only it would hit that number daily when my book comes out ... and at least half of them buy the book at that time.
I haven't posted for a while. My day job just celebrated homecoming. Major big deal. Wacky time. Crazy hours. My husband was on the team that opened the new museum in town the weekend before. Craaa-zy times for him. But super cool museum.
I do have a topic for tonight before I go to bed. I am dag tired, for sure. Friendship. Friendship is a strange thing. It seems like it would be easy, but it's really not. I guess all things worth having are worth working for. For instance, I've been a slacker girl when it comes to a number of my friends. If I don't get regular e-mail from them, it's as if my brain forgets they are around. Suddenly months have passed and I'm super lame-o friend! Gosh, today I didn't even get home to see my lovely husband until nearly 10 p.m. Why? Because I was hanging out in the American Legion with my new friend (and many of my own family members). This new friend knew my grandpa many moons ago when Grandpa was in Buddies of the Airlanes. It was a fun night, but then I get home and my husband is already in bed. I feel a bit like a schmuck.
Ah, friendship. Friendship and the meaning of it change as we get older. Even as kids the boy/girl dichotomy can get in the way. Girls play with this, boys with that. As we get older and marriage starts setting in, a whole bunch of other issues can kick in. Jealousy. Misunderstandings. Best of intentions. Men/women issues. That stinks. I really do not like the whole idea that "men and women can't be friends without the sex part getting in the way" ("When Harry Met Sally ..."). That is one of my favorite movies ever, but I just don't agree with that line. Even if two friends are attracted to each other (which they are at least mentally), the "sex thing" isn't necessarily even a "sex thing." It can merely be, "Hey, there's my friend Keanu Reeves. He's my best friend and he's really hot." Doesn't have to mean there is a physical relationship going on or building or even a potential. Just because Keanu is a beautiful human doesn't mean he's going to sleep with everyone. And if he were to do such a thing, that wouldn't mean that male/female friendship is bad; it would just mean he's a bit of a 'ho. (Sorry, Keanu! I mean nothing by it! Just an example!)
So here's the deal. I've had some interesting friendships with men. Let's start with gradeschool and the boys. A couple of my recess friends were boys. One, who I'll call Jack, was a sweet kid and kind of cute in a bit of a dorky way. He had horned-rimmed glasses, freckles, wasn't too tall. But he was funny and nice. I used to play with him and his other friend at recess. I had a little crush on him, but it never got in the way of our recess time.
Fast forward to high school (as junior high sucked). I was really good friends with a guy I will call Sam. Sam and I did everything together. Total buds. We both eventually seemed to like each other as more than friends after a long while. I thought, wow! I'm going to finally have a boyfriend! Weird, but cool! No. Right after this near-revelation, he started dating MY BEST FRIEND. This was just wonderful. Then, when they started having troubles, each of them started calling me to cry on my shoulder. I was way over that before it began. I learned later that he may have liked me, but this "friend" "put out." Lovely.
Second major high school crush. We'll call him Aubry (because we can). Thought he was the bee's knees. Again, glasses, freckles (hmm, a trend?), kinda pale, slightly tall but not really. Incredibly dry sense of humor. I thought he was awesome. Very smart and witty. My friend (the same #)$(#(@## that dated my old best friend, told that best friend that I had a crush on Aubry, who he was friends with. I walked into English class the next day, Aubry said hi to me--and the way he said "hi" (that one little word) told me that he knew. I said hi back really quickly and sat down without another word. I totally missed my window. We were still friends but it was weird. Especially when he started dating this other chick from out of nowhere and sported remarkably large hickeys on his neck. Very proud of them. Ick. Totally gross. Another friendship made lame.
Still in high school, I had a very good friend who adored me. We did everything together. I know he cared about me very much. But he eventually got too mixed up in a number of things to vast to go into here. Plus, I think he's at least a little big gay.
And speaking of gay friends! A number of years ago I had a friend who did lots with me. We were good buddies. He was gay as gay can be. I was not. I was single at the time and getting teased by yet another guy (who I'm pretty sure is gay and deep in the closet). This friend started saying things like, "I could get you to do anything I want. I bet you I could." What he meant was, like the "addition" to fortune cookies "... in bed." Whatever! Hello! Gay! Me woman! You man!" Lordy.
So you see, friendship can be like walking on egg shells ... or burning coals. It can also be very great. Ah, we humans can make things so very difficult.
Anyway, frienship is wonderful. I treasure my friends like, well, treasure! But there can be outside factors that change the perception of two friends. Some good, so bad. But as Wes our workstudy says, "It is what it is. It will be what it will be." Thanks, Wes. You are a man smarter then you know.
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Woooo hoooo! TheCemeteryClub.com has had more than 5,000 visitors! Finally! The site is somebody!!!!
So cool. So awesome. Now if only it would hit that number daily when my book comes out ... and at least half of them buy the book at that time.
I haven't posted for a while. My day job just celebrated homecoming. Major big deal. Wacky time. Crazy hours. My husband was on the team that opened the new museum in town the weekend before. Craaa-zy times for him. But super cool museum.
I do have a topic for tonight before I go to bed. I am dag tired, for sure. Friendship. Friendship is a strange thing. It seems like it would be easy, but it's really not. I guess all things worth having are worth working for. For instance, I've been a slacker girl when it comes to a number of my friends. If I don't get regular e-mail from them, it's as if my brain forgets they are around. Suddenly months have passed and I'm super lame-o friend! Gosh, today I didn't even get home to see my lovely husband until nearly 10 p.m. Why? Because I was hanging out in the American Legion with my new friend (and many of my own family members). This new friend knew my grandpa many moons ago when Grandpa was in Buddies of the Airlanes. It was a fun night, but then I get home and my husband is already in bed. I feel a bit like a schmuck.
Ah, friendship. Friendship and the meaning of it change as we get older. Even as kids the boy/girl dichotomy can get in the way. Girls play with this, boys with that. As we get older and marriage starts setting in, a whole bunch of other issues can kick in. Jealousy. Misunderstandings. Best of intentions. Men/women issues. That stinks. I really do not like the whole idea that "men and women can't be friends without the sex part getting in the way" ("When Harry Met Sally ..."). That is one of my favorite movies ever, but I just don't agree with that line. Even if two friends are attracted to each other (which they are at least mentally), the "sex thing" isn't necessarily even a "sex thing." It can merely be, "Hey, there's my friend Keanu Reeves. He's my best friend and he's really hot." Doesn't have to mean there is a physical relationship going on or building or even a potential. Just because Keanu is a beautiful human doesn't mean he's going to sleep with everyone. And if he were to do such a thing, that wouldn't mean that male/female friendship is bad; it would just mean he's a bit of a 'ho. (Sorry, Keanu! I mean nothing by it! Just an example!)
So here's the deal. I've had some interesting friendships with men. Let's start with gradeschool and the boys. A couple of my recess friends were boys. One, who I'll call Jack, was a sweet kid and kind of cute in a bit of a dorky way. He had horned-rimmed glasses, freckles, wasn't too tall. But he was funny and nice. I used to play with him and his other friend at recess. I had a little crush on him, but it never got in the way of our recess time.
Fast forward to high school (as junior high sucked). I was really good friends with a guy I will call Sam. Sam and I did everything together. Total buds. We both eventually seemed to like each other as more than friends after a long while. I thought, wow! I'm going to finally have a boyfriend! Weird, but cool! No. Right after this near-revelation, he started dating MY BEST FRIEND. This was just wonderful. Then, when they started having troubles, each of them started calling me to cry on my shoulder. I was way over that before it began. I learned later that he may have liked me, but this "friend" "put out." Lovely.
Second major high school crush. We'll call him Aubry (because we can). Thought he was the bee's knees. Again, glasses, freckles (hmm, a trend?), kinda pale, slightly tall but not really. Incredibly dry sense of humor. I thought he was awesome. Very smart and witty. My friend (the same #)$(#(@## that dated my old best friend, told that best friend that I had a crush on Aubry, who he was friends with. I walked into English class the next day, Aubry said hi to me--and the way he said "hi" (that one little word) told me that he knew. I said hi back really quickly and sat down without another word. I totally missed my window. We were still friends but it was weird. Especially when he started dating this other chick from out of nowhere and sported remarkably large hickeys on his neck. Very proud of them. Ick. Totally gross. Another friendship made lame.
Still in high school, I had a very good friend who adored me. We did everything together. I know he cared about me very much. But he eventually got too mixed up in a number of things to vast to go into here. Plus, I think he's at least a little big gay.
And speaking of gay friends! A number of years ago I had a friend who did lots with me. We were good buddies. He was gay as gay can be. I was not. I was single at the time and getting teased by yet another guy (who I'm pretty sure is gay and deep in the closet). This friend started saying things like, "I could get you to do anything I want. I bet you I could." What he meant was, like the "addition" to fortune cookies "... in bed." Whatever! Hello! Gay! Me woman! You man!" Lordy.
So you see, friendship can be like walking on egg shells ... or burning coals. It can also be very great. Ah, we humans can make things so very difficult.
Anyway, frienship is wonderful. I treasure my friends like, well, treasure! But there can be outside factors that change the perception of two friends. Some good, so bad. But as Wes our workstudy says, "It is what it is. It will be what it will be." Thanks, Wes. You are a man smarter then you know.
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Monday, August 01, 2005
Query letter ready to go
Okay, everyone. I just finished a query letter to a literary agent in Wisconsin that I met during the Writers' Institute conference I attended a week and a half ago. I'm putting it in the mail tomorrow. She was very interested in the idea for a second cemetery-themed book I pitched to her. If she continues to like it, I just may end up with an agent and that much closer to a book published by a full-fledged publisher! Not that self-publishing isn't dandy, but I'd be getting paid a lot easier then having to peddle the book all on my own like I have to do now.
Hope of hopes!
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Okay, everyone. I just finished a query letter to a literary agent in Wisconsin that I met during the Writers' Institute conference I attended a week and a half ago. I'm putting it in the mail tomorrow. She was very interested in the idea for a second cemetery-themed book I pitched to her. If she continues to like it, I just may end up with an agent and that much closer to a book published by a full-fledged publisher! Not that self-publishing isn't dandy, but I'd be getting paid a lot easier then having to peddle the book all on my own like I have to do now.
Hope of hopes!
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Beading for a Book Tour
For about the last month or so I've retaken up my jewelry habit in order to help fund my upcoming book tour. As some of you may know, I sell sterling silver charm bracelets, necklaces and such through www.TheCemeteryClub.com. Well, I also hand-craft other beaded jewelry, and my friend Tracey is encouraging me to do so by joining her at farmers' markets and other crafty events.
Today was my second day out with her. I followed Tracey and her sister-in-law, Janet, to Sherrard, Illinois. Sherrard is a village of 700 (that's what the population sign says). Nice little town (VERY little) with nice people. But not many were in the mood to buy jewelry. Tracey sells gorgeous beaded bracelets (which you can see and buy at www.andthebeadgoesonjewelry.com). Both of us (and sis Janet) make lovely things, but we ended up selling less than $100 total (together) after SEVEN hours. Yikes. Fortunately, unlike the day we did the farmers' market in Moline a couple Saturdays ago, it was a nice day. Two weeks ago it was about 100 degrees and humid with a heat index of 4,000. I only made a whopping $33 that day.
The kooky thing is that even though I've spent many evenings beading and creating, the things that I have sold the most of have been the sterling silver rings. Which I only buy wholesale and do nothing else with. I don't bead them or make them extra pretty. I just take them out of their bag and put them on the table. I sold all but two of my stock today. SO WHAT THE HECK AM I WASTING MY TIME BEADING LIKE A CRAZY WOMAN FOR? Well, at least something sold. I like what I make. I have a lot of Halloween-themed items because I like spooky stuff (big surprise) so I imagine that come fall, those things will sell like hot cakes.
If anyone has any tips on how to do better at these crafty shows, please let me know. Tracey and Janet and I will be at the Moline farmers' market next Saturday if any of you want to check out our stuff.
The good thing about today was that I spent it in good company outside in the shade (very important) and was able to make more jewelry for the next time. So I'm set until next week, when I'm sure people will be clamoring to buy my stuff!
For those of you wondering why this woman--who is writing books, publishing magazines, updating a Web site, helping organize a cemetery event and who knows what else--is spending time making and selling jewelry, the answer is simple. Money. In order to go on my book tour this month, I need to have some money on stand-by. Since I am self-publishing, it's up to ME to make this book sell. So while I was selling a ring here and there today, I was marketing my book. I had bookmarks out for people and encouraged them to visit my site. "Look for me in local bookstores! I'll be doing signings!" You gotta work it when you can. I was also recruiting volunteers for the cemetery event at Oakdale. If there's one thing I've found about doing my own thing (regarding writing, giving classes, etc.) it's that you have to always be marketing yourself. And you must do it in an honest and down-to-earth way. Reach out to people. Connect with them. That's what my book is about really. People connecting with other people--whether those people are dead or alive.
Well, I've got to check into some gravestone rubbing kits I want to sell during the cemetery event at Oakdale.
Keep on keepin' on,
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
For about the last month or so I've retaken up my jewelry habit in order to help fund my upcoming book tour. As some of you may know, I sell sterling silver charm bracelets, necklaces and such through www.TheCemeteryClub.com. Well, I also hand-craft other beaded jewelry, and my friend Tracey is encouraging me to do so by joining her at farmers' markets and other crafty events.
Today was my second day out with her. I followed Tracey and her sister-in-law, Janet, to Sherrard, Illinois. Sherrard is a village of 700 (that's what the population sign says). Nice little town (VERY little) with nice people. But not many were in the mood to buy jewelry. Tracey sells gorgeous beaded bracelets (which you can see and buy at www.andthebeadgoesonjewelry.com). Both of us (and sis Janet) make lovely things, but we ended up selling less than $100 total (together) after SEVEN hours. Yikes. Fortunately, unlike the day we did the farmers' market in Moline a couple Saturdays ago, it was a nice day. Two weeks ago it was about 100 degrees and humid with a heat index of 4,000. I only made a whopping $33 that day.
The kooky thing is that even though I've spent many evenings beading and creating, the things that I have sold the most of have been the sterling silver rings. Which I only buy wholesale and do nothing else with. I don't bead them or make them extra pretty. I just take them out of their bag and put them on the table. I sold all but two of my stock today. SO WHAT THE HECK AM I WASTING MY TIME BEADING LIKE A CRAZY WOMAN FOR? Well, at least something sold. I like what I make. I have a lot of Halloween-themed items because I like spooky stuff (big surprise) so I imagine that come fall, those things will sell like hot cakes.
If anyone has any tips on how to do better at these crafty shows, please let me know. Tracey and Janet and I will be at the Moline farmers' market next Saturday if any of you want to check out our stuff.
The good thing about today was that I spent it in good company outside in the shade (very important) and was able to make more jewelry for the next time. So I'm set until next week, when I'm sure people will be clamoring to buy my stuff!
For those of you wondering why this woman--who is writing books, publishing magazines, updating a Web site, helping organize a cemetery event and who knows what else--is spending time making and selling jewelry, the answer is simple. Money. In order to go on my book tour this month, I need to have some money on stand-by. Since I am self-publishing, it's up to ME to make this book sell. So while I was selling a ring here and there today, I was marketing my book. I had bookmarks out for people and encouraged them to visit my site. "Look for me in local bookstores! I'll be doing signings!" You gotta work it when you can. I was also recruiting volunteers for the cemetery event at Oakdale. If there's one thing I've found about doing my own thing (regarding writing, giving classes, etc.) it's that you have to always be marketing yourself. And you must do it in an honest and down-to-earth way. Reach out to people. Connect with them. That's what my book is about really. People connecting with other people--whether those people are dead or alive.
Well, I've got to check into some gravestone rubbing kits I want to sell during the cemetery event at Oakdale.
Keep on keepin' on,
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Epitaphs Magazine has gone global!
Yes, friends, we have hit the big time. Within the past few months, the little magazine that is about to be published went international. Not only do we have subscribers from all over the U.S., we also have subscribers in England, Canada and now France! How exciting!
Spreading the good word about cemeteries,
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Yes, friends, we have hit the big time. Within the past few months, the little magazine that is about to be published went international. Not only do we have subscribers from all over the U.S., we also have subscribers in England, Canada and now France! How exciting!
Spreading the good word about cemeteries,
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Writers' Institute Rocks!
Today I have returned from my trip to Madison,Wisconsin and the Writers' Institute refreshed, renewed and excited. Anything seems possible now! Actually, anything IS possible. And it was before my trip. This conference and the people I met proved to me for certain that I am on the right track. I felt it already, but it is so nice to have such positive reinforcement.
I met some fabulous people at the conference. If Linda, Paul, Carleen or Pam happen upon this blog, it was such a pleasure to meet all of you! You'll be hearing from me!
For anyone, especially those in the Midwest, who are looking for a writing conference to attend and have no idea how to go about it, I highly recommend the Writers' Institute at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. It's a great town, a great facility and phenomenal speakers and instructors. The participants are also wonderful. Everyone is incredibly supportive and friendly. There's no snobbery, which is something I was worried about before I attended last year. I admit it, artists are weird. Writers can be quite weird. Writing is a solitary endeavor, and to take yourself away from your cocoon of writing and then wander into the world outside that cocoon can be daunting. I've known some people who think they're the bee's knees and won't give a fellow writer the time of day ... unless they feel there's something for them to gain by it. But that's not why most writers write. We write to connect with people. Being snobby and thinking you're the awesomest of the awesomest awesome is lame. To those people I say, "Come back to this planet and don't be so uptight." There is plenty of room for more awesome people. Besides, some of the folks who think they are better than chocolate can really be sucky writers. We're all learning endlessly. It's a beautiful thing.
So in a nut shell, this is a fab conference. This was the first time I've ever talked to agents. And it was not even scary!
I have so much I could talk about from this weekend, but I have to unpack and also get ready for the Avril Lavigne concert tonight. I'm going with my friends Leita and Deanna (Leita is 10, and Deanna is her mom and wife of one of my bestest friends). I just talked to Tim, and he said Leita is all excited and has her eye makeup on. It's going to be a blast.
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Today I have returned from my trip to Madison,Wisconsin and the Writers' Institute refreshed, renewed and excited. Anything seems possible now! Actually, anything IS possible. And it was before my trip. This conference and the people I met proved to me for certain that I am on the right track. I felt it already, but it is so nice to have such positive reinforcement.
I met some fabulous people at the conference. If Linda, Paul, Carleen or Pam happen upon this blog, it was such a pleasure to meet all of you! You'll be hearing from me!
For anyone, especially those in the Midwest, who are looking for a writing conference to attend and have no idea how to go about it, I highly recommend the Writers' Institute at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. It's a great town, a great facility and phenomenal speakers and instructors. The participants are also wonderful. Everyone is incredibly supportive and friendly. There's no snobbery, which is something I was worried about before I attended last year. I admit it, artists are weird. Writers can be quite weird. Writing is a solitary endeavor, and to take yourself away from your cocoon of writing and then wander into the world outside that cocoon can be daunting. I've known some people who think they're the bee's knees and won't give a fellow writer the time of day ... unless they feel there's something for them to gain by it. But that's not why most writers write. We write to connect with people. Being snobby and thinking you're the awesomest of the awesomest awesome is lame. To those people I say, "Come back to this planet and don't be so uptight." There is plenty of room for more awesome people. Besides, some of the folks who think they are better than chocolate can really be sucky writers. We're all learning endlessly. It's a beautiful thing.
So in a nut shell, this is a fab conference. This was the first time I've ever talked to agents. And it was not even scary!
I have so much I could talk about from this weekend, but I have to unpack and also get ready for the Avril Lavigne concert tonight. I'm going with my friends Leita and Deanna (Leita is 10, and Deanna is her mom and wife of one of my bestest friends). I just talked to Tim, and he said Leita is all excited and has her eye makeup on. It's going to be a blast.
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Monday, July 18, 2005
Ahoy! The galley has arrived!
It's Monday, July 18, 2005, and I finally received the first galley for my book. It's exciting and daunting. This is one of the last times I'll look at the book before it goes to the printer. That means it's sooooo close to its final form. But it also means close scrutiny over the pages. Lots of things to check over and verify. Fine-tooth comb time.
Being a published author is NOT for sissies.
Back to the proofing ...
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
It's Monday, July 18, 2005, and I finally received the first galley for my book. It's exciting and daunting. This is one of the last times I'll look at the book before it goes to the printer. That means it's sooooo close to its final form. But it also means close scrutiny over the pages. Lots of things to check over and verify. Fine-tooth comb time.
Being a published author is NOT for sissies.
Back to the proofing ...
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Makin' Jewelry
It's Sunday on a hot, steamy, ack weekend. It is an "ack" weekend because it IS so hot. I'm not a heat person. I prefer fall with its lovely falling leaves smell and cool breezes. I like jeans and sweaters. Even on the hottest days I prefer my capri jeans to a pair of shorts. Shorts tend to ride up, and that is not cool at all. Give me a nice crisp fall day, and I'm happy.
So, needless to say, this ridiculous 95-degree plus weather (complete with dangerous draught) is not my cup of tea. And I like tea! I enjoy heating up a kettle full of water to make myself some darjeeling with honey and cream. I've noticed that extreme heart makes people cranky. Can't blame them. Who wants to sweat in places they don't normally sweat?
Speaking of sweat, during 95-degree weather with blazing sun, I went to the local Farmer's Market and set up shop with my pal Tracey. She had told me I could share a booth with her to sell my jewelry. She sells jewelry, too. But her's is different. She's all about colorful beads and such, and I'm all about the sterling silver charms. More people showed up than I thought would, but we didn't sell a ton of stuff. But a few bucks is a few bucks--especially since this money is going toward my upcoming book tour.
So I spent this morning taking photos of the jewely I didn't sell so I can post it on eBay. I've got some cool stuff, if I do say so myself. An adorable Harry Potter-themed charm bracelet, gardener's bracelets, memories of grandmother, and more. The are in sterling silver. I also have sterling silver necklaces (22 inches, also in sterling silver), including a pirate ("Pirates of the Caribbean" or "Goonies"), Grandmother, a little ghost, a ribbon (like the popular ribbons seen on cars), a slot machine (for Las Vegas and riverboat gambling fans!), and much more.
I hope to have things posted soon. Right now I have a "Pirates of the Caribbean" themed pin posted. Look up user name "elfaba1" if you are interested.
Well, while I should be posting eBay items or editing the magazine, I think I need a nap more so thatn the other two things. Long weekend so far, and I really want to see "Charlie and the Chocolte Factory" and "Dark Water."
But now, since I've put in hours of work on my projects already this weekend, I need a little cat nap.
Hope all is well around the world with you!
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
It's Sunday on a hot, steamy, ack weekend. It is an "ack" weekend because it IS so hot. I'm not a heat person. I prefer fall with its lovely falling leaves smell and cool breezes. I like jeans and sweaters. Even on the hottest days I prefer my capri jeans to a pair of shorts. Shorts tend to ride up, and that is not cool at all. Give me a nice crisp fall day, and I'm happy.
So, needless to say, this ridiculous 95-degree plus weather (complete with dangerous draught) is not my cup of tea. And I like tea! I enjoy heating up a kettle full of water to make myself some darjeeling with honey and cream. I've noticed that extreme heart makes people cranky. Can't blame them. Who wants to sweat in places they don't normally sweat?
Speaking of sweat, during 95-degree weather with blazing sun, I went to the local Farmer's Market and set up shop with my pal Tracey. She had told me I could share a booth with her to sell my jewelry. She sells jewelry, too. But her's is different. She's all about colorful beads and such, and I'm all about the sterling silver charms. More people showed up than I thought would, but we didn't sell a ton of stuff. But a few bucks is a few bucks--especially since this money is going toward my upcoming book tour.
So I spent this morning taking photos of the jewely I didn't sell so I can post it on eBay. I've got some cool stuff, if I do say so myself. An adorable Harry Potter-themed charm bracelet, gardener's bracelets, memories of grandmother, and more. The are in sterling silver. I also have sterling silver necklaces (22 inches, also in sterling silver), including a pirate ("Pirates of the Caribbean" or "Goonies"), Grandmother, a little ghost, a ribbon (like the popular ribbons seen on cars), a slot machine (for Las Vegas and riverboat gambling fans!), and much more.
I hope to have things posted soon. Right now I have a "Pirates of the Caribbean" themed pin posted. Look up user name "elfaba1" if you are interested.
Well, while I should be posting eBay items or editing the magazine, I think I need a nap more so thatn the other two things. Long weekend so far, and I really want to see "Charlie and the Chocolte Factory" and "Dark Water."
But now, since I've put in hours of work on my projects already this weekend, I need a little cat nap.
Hope all is well around the world with you!
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Mom and the Book
I am happy to say that my mother is doing much better now. The doctor's office is still on my bad list, though. One of my biggest pet peeves is lack of information or communication. Mom was on the wrong end of both regarding her poor heart and blood pressure. I won't get into it, but I have to say that a certain nurse practitioner needs to start treating the patients she sees with care and consideration. Enough said about that. For now.
THE BOOK!
Wonderful news! I had a three-way call meeting with my publishing company rep and book designer, and all is going swimmingly! I should have my first galley in two weeks. I'm so excited! The book is still on schedule for the fall release. I can't wait to see it all put together.
THE SITE
I just made some edits and updates to TheCemeteryClub.com. The PayPal links finally work (hurray!) and can be used to pay for Epitaphs magazine subscriptions, single issues and ads.
I've also recently added a genealogy page with the start of a link section I will be continuing to build.
The writing tips section now how photography tips. I intend to make the is a good resource page for prospective contributors to the magazine ... and also people who just want to learn how to improve their writing and photography skills. If you're like me, you never want to stop learning.
Well, that's the news for now. Stop by the site soon. We've had more than 4,000 visitors, which is major for us. I can't wait for the day when we get 4,000 hits a day! Here's to the future!
Cheers!
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
I am happy to say that my mother is doing much better now. The doctor's office is still on my bad list, though. One of my biggest pet peeves is lack of information or communication. Mom was on the wrong end of both regarding her poor heart and blood pressure. I won't get into it, but I have to say that a certain nurse practitioner needs to start treating the patients she sees with care and consideration. Enough said about that. For now.
THE BOOK!
Wonderful news! I had a three-way call meeting with my publishing company rep and book designer, and all is going swimmingly! I should have my first galley in two weeks. I'm so excited! The book is still on schedule for the fall release. I can't wait to see it all put together.
THE SITE
I just made some edits and updates to TheCemeteryClub.com. The PayPal links finally work (hurray!) and can be used to pay for Epitaphs magazine subscriptions, single issues and ads.
I've also recently added a genealogy page with the start of a link section I will be continuing to build.
The writing tips section now how photography tips. I intend to make the is a good resource page for prospective contributors to the magazine ... and also people who just want to learn how to improve their writing and photography skills. If you're like me, you never want to stop learning.
Well, that's the news for now. Stop by the site soon. We've had more than 4,000 visitors, which is major for us. I can't wait for the day when we get 4,000 hits a day! Here's to the future!
Cheers!
Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Thursday, June 23, 2005
I find myself talking or e-mailing about my mom as if I'm writing about someone I vaguely know. It's not because I feel like I don't know her or am not close to her. I am very close to my mother. But when I tell someone that my mother almost had a heart attack this week, it's like I'm talking about a stranger. I think my mind is trying to protect me from breaking down; I am saying "my mother" as if it was coming out "some person I don't know." The emotion is not there.
Perhaps my mind is telling me not to grieve for what isn't gone. Maybe I'm growing up and am being responsible and "strong." Maybe I'm denying it's happening. I feel helpless. What can I do? Can I take her heart in my hand and soothe it? Can I trade it with mine and give hers a rest? I know I cannot. But I want to. I want to do whatever will make her better. She means too much to too many people for this to be happening.
A friend of mine asked me to look after her younger sister in a way the other day. That isn't how she put it, but I know what she means. Her sister is my friend, too, I just haven't known her as long. She's a very cool person. The thing is that while my whole agenda in the world is to make everything in the world better, I know I can't do it all on my own. When a co-worker's parent is sick, I'm the first to run out and buy a card or little trinket to cheer her up. I guess I'm what you could call an "empath." I feel how a person would feel. I get a tinge of the pain, confusion and grief. I want to help. I want to put a bandaid on the world. But since my husband had a serious health scare and now that my mom is in the middle of one, I see clearly how I can only focus myself on them. I understand it now.
World, I love you. I know you are in dire need of being saved. Big bad horrible people are trying to smother you with greed, self-righteousness and my-god-is-better/bigger/awesomer-than-your-god attitudes. You know I will help you as much as I can. Right now my family needs me. I know you understand.
-Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Perhaps my mind is telling me not to grieve for what isn't gone. Maybe I'm growing up and am being responsible and "strong." Maybe I'm denying it's happening. I feel helpless. What can I do? Can I take her heart in my hand and soothe it? Can I trade it with mine and give hers a rest? I know I cannot. But I want to. I want to do whatever will make her better. She means too much to too many people for this to be happening.
A friend of mine asked me to look after her younger sister in a way the other day. That isn't how she put it, but I know what she means. Her sister is my friend, too, I just haven't known her as long. She's a very cool person. The thing is that while my whole agenda in the world is to make everything in the world better, I know I can't do it all on my own. When a co-worker's parent is sick, I'm the first to run out and buy a card or little trinket to cheer her up. I guess I'm what you could call an "empath." I feel how a person would feel. I get a tinge of the pain, confusion and grief. I want to help. I want to put a bandaid on the world. But since my husband had a serious health scare and now that my mom is in the middle of one, I see clearly how I can only focus myself on them. I understand it now.
World, I love you. I know you are in dire need of being saved. Big bad horrible people are trying to smother you with greed, self-righteousness and my-god-is-better/bigger/awesomer-than-your-god attitudes. You know I will help you as much as I can. Right now my family needs me. I know you understand.
-Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
TheCemeteryClub.com blog is now available for RSS!
It's Thursday, June 22, the second day of summer of 2005.
I just attended an awesome Writing for the Web seminar in Chicago led by Shel Holtz. Very awesome indeed. I also learned about RSS, which allows people to get updates on my blog automatically. I don't know enough to explain it myself yet, so go to Wikipedia.com and punch in RSS to learn more. It's a great concept, though. You should also go to NewsGator.com or the like and sign up for a free account. It's way cool once you get into it.
I've been sick for the past few days. Not fun when you are in a seminar--especially when the seminar is actually good (some suck) and you don't want to miss anything. I'm feeling better now. But I did find out that my mother was very close to having a heart attack this weekend. She is still not in the clear yet but is doing better. It's really hard to get my mind around it. For the first time I actually had this thought run through my mind: what if something happened to my mother while I was gone/not near/not in the same room? What if my mother had a heart attack and died? How could something like that happen? How could it be allowed?
It, of course, didn't. But yesterday was the first time I ever thought of my mother as anything but eternal. I came to the realization that when your parent dies, you are no longer a kid anymore. If something had happened to my mother, I would have had to grow up really fast. And I'm 32. I am grown up. But no matter how old you are, you are always somebody's baby. My grandmother is sick with worry about her 54-year-old baby. When her mother died (at the age of 98), Grandma was Granny's baby. Her oldest baby, and she was in her seventies.
Oh, the irony of the one who writes about cemeteries and death being afraid of death and losing the ones she loves.
-Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
It's Thursday, June 22, the second day of summer of 2005.
I just attended an awesome Writing for the Web seminar in Chicago led by Shel Holtz. Very awesome indeed. I also learned about RSS, which allows people to get updates on my blog automatically. I don't know enough to explain it myself yet, so go to Wikipedia.com and punch in RSS to learn more. It's a great concept, though. You should also go to NewsGator.com or the like and sign up for a free account. It's way cool once you get into it.
I've been sick for the past few days. Not fun when you are in a seminar--especially when the seminar is actually good (some suck) and you don't want to miss anything. I'm feeling better now. But I did find out that my mother was very close to having a heart attack this weekend. She is still not in the clear yet but is doing better. It's really hard to get my mind around it. For the first time I actually had this thought run through my mind: what if something happened to my mother while I was gone/not near/not in the same room? What if my mother had a heart attack and died? How could something like that happen? How could it be allowed?
It, of course, didn't. But yesterday was the first time I ever thought of my mother as anything but eternal. I came to the realization that when your parent dies, you are no longer a kid anymore. If something had happened to my mother, I would have had to grow up really fast. And I'm 32. I am grown up. But no matter how old you are, you are always somebody's baby. My grandmother is sick with worry about her 54-year-old baby. When her mother died (at the age of 98), Grandma was Granny's baby. Her oldest baby, and she was in her seventies.
Oh, the irony of the one who writes about cemeteries and death being afraid of death and losing the ones she loves.
-Minda
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Monday, June 06, 2005
Apologies to all those I haven't talked to in ages ...
It's 6-6-05
It's June. It's Monday. It's two weeks after I thought the book would be done. I have been working nearly non-stop on it during my spare time (what's that?). I did get in two whole bike rides with my husband since he bought us new bikes. With the recent health scares, he is very serious about getting healthy. I'm very proud of him. And he's getting me to get my butt in gear.
Dare I say the book will go to the publisher tomorrow? I've had some setbacks. I'm over them now. One setback is actually a blessing. It has taken some of the stress away and has made me simplify things. I am limited on photos. This is actually not a bad thing. And I could go crazy with pics if I wanted to. For $2.50 a pop! No thank you. Keep in mind, I am self-publishing. I'm not concerned, though. I've got it figured out. Plus, I've got a magazine coming out, and I'm sure I've got plenty more books in me. No worries here.
Before I finish (maybe) the book tonight (maybe), I need to tend to ShangChi the betta fish. His tank ammonia levels are quite high. Just say NO to fin rot!!!! We will not have another death in the family! I'll post pics of him soon ... and also of Sheila, the African dwarf frog. She is spotted green and very tiny. She is not huge like Ghost the African albino clawed frog who is taking over the world. He is going to be upgraded to a 5-gallon tank soon. He's huge! I'd like to get a goldfish to be his tankmate, but unless I get a fish the size of Toledo, Ghost would most likely eat him. Again, no more deaths in the family.
Before I sign off, sorry to all I've been ignoring. I'm really not ignoring you in my mind. I'm thinking of all of you (including Toni, Kelly, Linn, TC, Kristin, Mom and Dad, Grandma, cousins, aunts, uncles ...). I've promised myself to get the book done straight away. It's time. I know all of you understand. At least the ones who know about my timeline as of late. To the rest of you, sorry!!! I will call, e-mail, etc., soon!
Love to you all and good night.
Minda
p.s.
We're starting to get more and more "Epitaphs" subscriptions coming in. How exciting!
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
It's 6-6-05
It's June. It's Monday. It's two weeks after I thought the book would be done. I have been working nearly non-stop on it during my spare time (what's that?). I did get in two whole bike rides with my husband since he bought us new bikes. With the recent health scares, he is very serious about getting healthy. I'm very proud of him. And he's getting me to get my butt in gear.
Dare I say the book will go to the publisher tomorrow? I've had some setbacks. I'm over them now. One setback is actually a blessing. It has taken some of the stress away and has made me simplify things. I am limited on photos. This is actually not a bad thing. And I could go crazy with pics if I wanted to. For $2.50 a pop! No thank you. Keep in mind, I am self-publishing. I'm not concerned, though. I've got it figured out. Plus, I've got a magazine coming out, and I'm sure I've got plenty more books in me. No worries here.
Before I finish (maybe) the book tonight (maybe), I need to tend to ShangChi the betta fish. His tank ammonia levels are quite high. Just say NO to fin rot!!!! We will not have another death in the family! I'll post pics of him soon ... and also of Sheila, the African dwarf frog. She is spotted green and very tiny. She is not huge like Ghost the African albino clawed frog who is taking over the world. He is going to be upgraded to a 5-gallon tank soon. He's huge! I'd like to get a goldfish to be his tankmate, but unless I get a fish the size of Toledo, Ghost would most likely eat him. Again, no more deaths in the family.
Before I sign off, sorry to all I've been ignoring. I'm really not ignoring you in my mind. I'm thinking of all of you (including Toni, Kelly, Linn, TC, Kristin, Mom and Dad, Grandma, cousins, aunts, uncles ...). I've promised myself to get the book done straight away. It's time. I know all of you understand. At least the ones who know about my timeline as of late. To the rest of you, sorry!!! I will call, e-mail, etc., soon!
Love to you all and good night.
Minda
p.s.
We're starting to get more and more "Epitaphs" subscriptions coming in. How exciting!
www.TheCemeteryClub.com
Thursday, June 02, 2005
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